What You Wish For
by titangirl161
Summary: one shot Allen wants to getrid of the Noah inside him, because even if you wish for something, you may not like what you get. DARK, CHARACTER DEATHS


Hello people, I'm here for my first ever D. Gray-Man fic! Yay! Now this was actually a nightmare that I've been keeping up in my head for quite some time. So I feel it's only fair to do this:

WARNING!!! DARK! CHARACTER DEATHS! ANGST! VIOLENCE! SPOILERS FOR CH. 168 (DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT FAR)!! If this is not your cup of tea, turn back now instead of flaming me after reading it, because it's your own fault then, and THIS CANNOT BE UNREAD! Now you all know. My puppy-muse Scribble will do the disclaimer and we'll begin.

Scribble: We do not own D. Gray Man and never will. We also are very impatiently waiting for it to return.

Musical Inspiration: Almost Easy by Avenged Sevenfold

What You Wish For

Allen yawned and stretched before he went to sleep for the night. And the picture of the clown, the one that always reminded Allen of his dear foster father Mana, caught Allen's eye, but instead of the usual comfort he got from it, it seemed to be mocking him.

He looked at it sadly. 'Mana,' he thought, 'did you only love me because of him? Is that the only reason you cared for me?'

Allen had a lot of doubts lately. After learning he was the 14th Noah, the Musician, it seemed almost too easy to doubt everything. And it seemed that he was living in a death march, just waiting for the day the Noah would consume him.

He flopped down on his bed miserably. He reached up and touched his forehead, knowing that one day six crosses, the stigmata, would form across it. 'I would do anything,' he thought sadly, 'ANYTHING to be rid of this curse.'

He fell asleep.

Later

When he awoke, the room was dim, barely lit. Allen was sitting on the floor and he could not see almost at all, although it seemed there was some kind of drape hanging near him. He groped around for a light switch, although he would regret flipping it immediately.

The light was still dim, but it was enough to see. And as Allen saw what was before him, no words could describe what went through his mind. His eyes widened in horror, he gasped, stopped breathing for about ten seconds, and threw up.

The thing hanging in front of him wasn't a drape.

It was a body.

Or, more accurately, several bodies.

The bodies of several of his comrades were hanging from the ceiling by their broken necks right in front of him. The first was Lavi, next to him was Bookman, then Krory, then Miranda, Komui, and last there was Kanda. The six also each had a large pin-like object in their foreheads, and each was in different places.

"What…what is this? What happened?" Allen asked in a tiny voice.

"Why are you asking that?" another voice replied.

Allen turned to the owner of the voice, and saw HIM, the Musician walking towards him. "After all," the Noah continued, "You were the one who did that to them."

Allen stared in disbelief. "What?"

"Oh, don't you remember? You wanted to do anything to get rid of the Noah, me, inside you. Well, a couple of weeks ago, you found a method. You could give this curse to someone else. However, normal humans can't handle it, so you have to break it up between several people. Six, to be exact, as you probably counted. You kill them all first. Then you put a pin in their head, one for each of the crosses in the stigmata, to symbolize pinning the Noah to them. Go ahead, take a look."

Allen forced himself to look up at the bodies again. As he looked at the pins, he could see as he looked down the line, that each time the pin moved a bit to the right, until it spanned across, starting at the left side of Lavi's head and finishing on the right side of Kanda's. One pin for each cross, each in the position it would be in if they had the same curse.

"So as you can see, you killed them, stuck the Noah on them, and now you're free. Happy now?"

Allen shook his head, shock, horror, and disbelief coursing through him. "No," whispered. "No. No, this can't be. I couldn't have."

"How can you deny it? It's right here in front of you."

"NO! I'd never do this! No matter how much I want to get rid of the Noah, I'd never hurt my friends to do it! This isn't real, it can't be! It's impossible!"

"You still don't believe me? Maybe you'll believe him," the Musician sighed, and he pulled out Timcampy, and as soon as he did, Tim began to spin a reel, showing Allen that he did exactly as the Noah told him he did.

Allen couldn't believe it. "No. I know I said I'd do anything, but I couldn't have. It can't be true. It just can't be."

He heard the door open behind him, and voice called out, "Allen-kun, are you-" and Lenali's voice stopped short when she saw the scene in the room. She collapsed to her knees, and tears formed in her eyes. "Allen…why? Why my brother?! He wasn't even an exorcist! He had no way to defend himself! So why? Why kill my brother too??" She sobbed hysterically on the floor, tears streaming out of her eyes.

Allen started crying too. How could he have done this? What kind of monster was he that he would cold bloodedly kill his friends just to destroy the Noah? He couldn't answer her, he could only cry with her.

And suddenly she stood up, and raised her boot in front of him, right over his head. Allen knew what she was about to do, and he realized he wanted her to, he'd kill himself later anyway if she didn't do it here and now. He just hoped it would be quick.

Tears were still falling from her eyes as she looked down at him on the floor one last time. "I'm sorry, but…he was my brother, and because of you, he's gone, and I'll never see him again. I'm sorry Allen."

And the Noah laughed as she brought her boot down hard on his head.

Allen cried out as he woke up, in his own bed, dripping with sweat and breathing hard. He looked around and realized he was in his own room. It had all been a dream.

He flopped back down again, to realize his face was sticky with tears. In fact, he was still crying. He rubbed at them furiously. "I won't do that," he whispered to himself softly in the dark. "I won't do that. No matter how much I want him gone, I'll never hurt my friends to get rid of him. I didn't mean it when I said I'd do anything."

_Then are you really that serious about it at all? _

That question from a different voice came from inside Allen.

Allen let a soft sob escape him. Why did it seem there was no alternative? Was there nothing he could do?

"I won't give up. I won't hurt anyone, but at the same time I won't give up. I'll find a way, a different way…somehow."

Unbeknownst to him, Allen didn't have much time to do that.

His head was hurting horribly, and a small cross was appearing on the left side of his forehead.

Scribble: Wow, after all that and not even a happy ending. And you have so many problems, as can be seen by that disturbing method.

Me: I told you it was a nightmare! And it wasn't supposed to have a happy ending! Well, anyway, there's the story! After this, I'm doing Saiyuki, then YYH, then perhaps another one shot? I don't know yet, we will see.

Side Note: I looked at several pictures of different Noah, and from what I could see, the number of crosses that came up the most was six, so that's why I used that number.

So here's my first one. Let me know how it was. Flames telling me I suck without telling me how to improve or what I'm doing wrong are worthless and they suck. Constructive criticism is very much appreciated, and good reviews are of course loved! Long Live the Black Order!

-titangirl161


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